- How to run a disconfirming experimentA disconfirming experiment is one small, safe test of what a fear says will happen, written down before and after.
- How to talk to your partner about your ruleTelling your partner what was named can stay simple if you describe what you do and what you may be protecting, and leave their side to them.
- The work is not foreverThe work is not forever, because the aim here is to be done, and Project Gina has no maintenance plan to move you on to.
- What "relapse" means hereRelapse here means the pattern showing up again after a stretch without it, which is expected and is not the end of anything.
- What to do when the experiment scares youWhen the experiment scares you, the fear may be information about what is being protected, and the answer is a smaller experiment and not a braver one.
- What to track and what to ignoreTrack the moments the pattern showed up and what you did, and ignore how well you are doing and what other people did wrong.
- When people don't like the new youWhen people don't like the new you, their pushback may be about what you used to do for them, and how hard it lands may say something too.
- When the insight fadesWhen the insight fades, it is usually the clear feeling wearing off and not the finding, and what you wrote down is there to go back to.
- When you catch the rule in real timeCatching it in real time means noticing the pattern while it is running, and the catch counts whether or not you do anything different.
- Why the rule gets louder before it gets quieterThe rule can seem louder before it gets quieter, often because you are now noticing something that used to run without being seen.
- Why you don't need to feel it all to change itYou may not need to feel it all to change it, since catching the pattern and testing its fear are things you do, and neither depends on how much you feel.
Elsewhere in the library
LibraryUnderstandThe questions people actually ask, answered plainly.LibraryThe 9 rules of worth and safetyWhat each shows up as and what would make it less likely.LibraryProtective strategiesWhat you do to stay safe, and the rules underneath.LibraryHelp and fitmentTherapy, coaching, somatic work: three tools, three jobs.LibraryCouplesThe two rules that may be meeting under the same fight.
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