You know what the fear says. It may say that your needs make you too much, and too much gets left. It may say that if you are wrong about this, what else are you wrong about. You may have believed it for a long time, and arranged things so that it rarely gets tested.
It is not a challenge and it is not a way of proving anything to anyone.
01
Before
Write down what the fear says will happen, in plain words and in advance. For instance, that if you ask a friend to pick something up for you on the way over, they will be put out and you will owe them.
Choose the smallest real version you can find, with a person who has been kind to you. Small means an afternoon, and not a turning point.
02
During
Do it once. Don't explain that it is an experiment. Don't soften it until it is no longer the thing.
03
After
Write down what happened, as plainly as you wrote the prediction. What they said. What they did. What happened the next day.
Then set the two beside each other.
04
Two examples
For Burden, the fear is that your needs make you too much, and too much gets left. The experience that goes against it is being helped, the helper being glad, and no ledger appearing. A test might be one small request.
For Right, the fear is that if you are wrong about this, what else are you wrong about. The experience that goes against it is being wrong in front of someone and being met with warmth. A test might be owning one small mistake out loud.
If you have a working guess about which rule it is, use that one. These two are only illustrations.
05
What a result means
One result is not enough to tell. If it went against the fear, that is one scene. If it went the way the fear said, that is one scene too, and it may say more about that person or that day than about you. Subtraction needs several.
Nobody can make the experience happen. You can only make room for it.
06
Where not to run one
Not with anyone you have reason to be afraid of. Caution around a person who really is unsafe is accurate, and it is not something to test.The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233. If tonight is an emergency, call or text 988 (US). This library is not that door.
What to do when even the small version feels like too much is on What to Do When the Experiment Scares You.
How a rule gets tested
A rule gets tested by treating it as a candidate, checking it against scenes from different parts of life, and removing it if it fails to explain them.