You have been seeing someone for a while. Something about it is off, and you can't tell whether that is the work being hard or the wrong person.
01
Signs worth taking seriously
- Pressure. Being pushed to book more sessions, buy a package, or keep going when you said you wanted to stop.
- Fear. Leaving frightened, or not safe, more often than not.
- No room to say no. Being told your hesitation is "resistance" when you said no to something.
- Claims to heal or diagnose from someone who isn't licensed to diagnose. Cleveland Clinic's advice about coaches applies more widely: "If a life coach claims they can heal you, walk away" (Cleveland Clinic).
- Nothing at all over a good stretch. Hard work is often uncomfortable. No movement at all, for weeks, is information.
02
Signs that may be the work and not the fit
Feeling worse for a short while after a session can happen, and some sources mention it. EMDR, for example, lists negative thoughts or feelings between sessions as its most common effect. If you're not sure which it is, ask the practitioner directly. A good one will talk about it.
03
What you can do
- Say so. "This isn't working for me" is a complete sentence.
- Stop. You don't owe anyone another session.
- Check their credentials before you choose someone new. What we check explains what a listing here shows. For a licensed therapist, you can look up the license yourself (see What Is Talk Therapy?).
- Report it if something was wrong. For a licensed practitioner, the state board takes complaints. For anyone else, the body that certified them may have a complaints process.
If you are not safe, licensed mental-health care is the right door. If tonight is an emergency, call or text 988 (US). This library is not that door.