You checked the account this morning and again at lunch. The number was fine both times. In the shower you ran next year's figures. You earn more than you ever have, and it has not changed how often you look. The thing I'm most afraid of losing, I haven't lost. I still think about losing it every single day.
If money really is short, the worry is accurate, and this page is not financial advice of any kind.
01
What you do about money
The amount may have changed over the years. The checking may not have.
You know the balances by heart. You run the bad scenarios. A surprise bill of ordinary size can take the whole day. You find it hard to spend on anything that is only pleasant.
You may not talk about it. From outside you look comfortable, and you let people think so. Everyone thinks I'm so put together.
People say you have nothing to worry about. They may be right about the numbers.
It can cost you the use of what you have. It can also sit between you and a partner, if one of you is always doing arithmetic.
02
What the number may be standing in for
"Stillness is where it catches me."
Money may mean being covered. Under Ahead, no amount finishes the job, because the worry is about what could still go wrong, and something always could.
Read about Ahead →"If I'm not producing, I don't know who I am."
Money may be the measure of what you have produced. Under Output, a flat year can count as a year in which you were less. If I go years without moving up, I feel like a loser. Somewhere my sense of worth got tied to that.
Read about Output →"Strong is the only version of me they know."
Money may be what keeps anyone from seeing you in difficulty. Under Strong, the fear may be less about the shortfall and more about it being visible.
Read about Strong →These are three of several, and it may be none of them.
03
What is under the rule
Under Ahead, the fear may be that if you stop managing, something goes wrong again. What would answer it is safety that doesn't require vigilance.
Under Output, the fear may be that without achievement you don't matter. What would answer it is worth that doesn't require performance.
Under Strong, the fear may be that if they see you struggle, you lose the only standing you have. What would answer it is being seen at less than full capacity and still being held.
More money does not answer any of the three. You may have noticed that the last raise did not.
04
Three questions, in order
First, for Output and Ahead. Is the problem that you're not producing, or that you're not covered?
Not producing is the Output answer. Not covered is the Ahead answer.
Second, for Ahead and Strong. Is it that something might go wrong, or that someone might see you're not coping?
Something might go wrong is the Ahead answer. Someone might see is the Strong answer.
Third, for Output and Strong. Which is harder: having nothing to show, or being seen struggling to get it done?
Nothing to show is the Output answer. Being seen struggling is the Strong answer.
If the answers don't sort anything, there is not enough to tell yet. That counts.
A great deal of money worry is not a rule. If income does not cover what you owe, the worry is doing its job, and a financial counselor may be the right kind of help. A period that really is unstable, such as a job at risk, calls for watchfulness, and for Ahead the check is whether it continues once things are stable.
The questions work by subtraction. They don't tell you what to do with money. They only narrow what the worry is about.
05
One thing to try this week
For one week, each time you check a balance, write down the time and the thought you had just before.
Don't try to check less.
At the end of the week, read the thoughts in order and see what they have in common.
What it is like when you can't slow down is on When Success Feels Like a Trap.