You have the vocabulary. Attachment, regulation, boundaries, parts. You can use every word correctly. Somewhere along the way the words started standing in for the thing they were meant to help with. Hearing it is one thing. Putting it into practice at home is another.
There are three reasons, and the first is about honesty.
01
Three reasons
The first is what this is. Project Gina is a pattern-reading and support-fitment process. It is not therapy, medical care, or diagnosis. Words like diagnosis, disorder and symptom belong to people licensed to use them, about conditions they are trained to assess. Used here, they would claim an authority this library does not have.
The second is that a technical term can end a thought. Give something a clinical name and it sounds settled. Say what happened in ordinary words and it is easier to see what is still unknown.
The third is that plain words can be checked by the person they are about. You can tell whether it is true that you said yes before she finished asking. It is harder to tell whether a term applies to you.
02
The few words with fixed meanings
Four words are used in one sense only. A rule is the condition a person meets to stay safe, worthy, or allowed to belong. A pattern is what keeps happening. A strategy is what someone does to stay safe. Subtraction is the method.
These are the library's own terms. They are not clinical terms, and they are not offered as anyone's consensus.
03
One example
Take a phrase a person might use about themselves: a fear of being left.
In plain words there are at least two different things it could describe. One is assuming, when a reply is slow, that you have been passed over for someone better. Another is assuming that you asked for too much and wore them out.
The first is nearer to Chosen, where the fear is that if you are not selected, you were not enough to select. The second is nearer to Burden, where the fear is that your needs make you too much, and too much gets left.
When you picture them leaving, is it because you weren't enough, or because you were too much? Not enough is the Chosen answer. Too much is the Burden answer.
The single phrase covered both, and so it could not separate them. And a slow reply is often only a slow reply.
04
What plain words can't do
They can't replace clinical words where clinical words are needed. If a clinician has given you a name for something, that name stands, and nothing here competes with it. For what any therapy or condition is, a clinical source such as Cleveland Clinic, Mayo Clinic or the APA is the place to read.
Plain words are what subtraction runs on. They are also what lets it say, plainly, that there is not enough to tell.
What else the method declines to be is on What Subtraction Is Not.