https://withgina.com/process/pattern-vs-rule https://i.ytimg.com/vi/xIxNs3gu0_4/hqdefault.jpg Old thought showed up again today? Might just be habit. A pattern is what keeps happening. A rule is the condition that makes it necessary. Confusing the two is why so much self-work describes a life without changing it. https://www.youtube.com/embed/xIxNs3gu0_4 2026-10-11T12:00:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/understand/say-yes-then-feel-resentful https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Ls3IrCSOp78/hqdefault.jpg Everything you've tried to stop saying yes Because the yes was never free. It was buying something, and the resentment is what shows up when the bill comes due. https://www.youtube.com/embed/Ls3IrCSOp78 2026-10-09T12:00:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/rules/ahead/how-it-shows-up-in-love https://i.ytimg.com/vi/SiKHAYHeRug/hqdefault.jpg Thumb over a text you know not to send? In relationships the Ahead rule often looks like managing everything in advance, so that even time together comes with a plan. https://www.youtube.com/embed/SiKHAYHeRug 2026-10-14T12:00:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/strategies/people-pleasing https://i.ytimg.com/vi/oB3I6KJ2_wA/hqdefault.jpg Same yes. Different reason. What sits under people-pleasing People-Pleasing describes what someone does. It does not tell us why. Four different rules can produce it, and each needs something different. https://www.youtube.com/embed/oB3I6KJ2_wA 2026-10-09T12:00:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/strategies/staying-busy https://i.ytimg.com/vi/b2FXraEiXYM/hqdefault.jpg Same busy. Different reason. What sits under staying busy Staying busy is keeping every hour full, which gets a great deal done and may also be a way of never having to be still. https://www.youtube.com/embed/b2FXraEiXYM 2026-10-12T12:00:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/strategies/fixing https://i.ytimg.com/vi/_YNIKk3O2G0/hqdefault.jpg Everything you've tried to stop fixing everybody Fixing describes what someone does. It does not tell us why. Four different rules can produce it, and each needs something different. How Project Gina reads it. https://www.youtube.com/embed/_YNIKk3O2G0 2026-10-10T12:00:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/strategies/perfectionism https://i.ytimg.com/vi/9MQXODzYgl0/hqdefault.jpg Everything you've tried to stop being a perfectionist Perfectionism is not finishing until it is flawless, which can guard against being wrong, against not having done enough, or against one person's opinion. https://www.youtube.com/embed/9MQXODzYgl0 2026-10-11T12:00:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/rules/needed https://i.ytimg.com/vi/3AajQPsQptw/hqdefault.jpg When someone offers to help you, what is the first thought? If they stop needing me, there's no reason for me to be here. Worth comes from being necessary to others. Being needed is the price of belonging. https://www.youtube.com/embed/3AajQPsQptw 2026-10-10T12:00:00-07:00 yes https://i.ytimg.com/vi/EYnMZs0B70s/hqdefault.jpg Codependency: Why Do I Need to Be Needed? Someone handles it without you, and something in you drops. People often call this codependency: being needed starts to feel like the reason you're allowed to be there. Five signs, what it costs, and one question that tells helping apart from needing to be needed. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYnMZs0B70s https://www.youtube.com/embed/EYnMZs0B70s 136 2026-10-31T10:06:19-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/about https://i.ytimg.com/vi/o4zIFKRvHL8/hqdefault.jpg Why it's called Gina What Project Gina is, why it exists, how subtraction works, what the Pattern Read and Witness Tracker do, and what the process does not claim. https://www.youtube.com/embed/o4zIFKRvHL8 2026-10-09T12:00:00-07:00 yes https://i.ytimg.com/vi/j6VOMrfQhyo/hqdefault.jpg Why does Gina sound like an older woman? What Project Gina is, why it exists, how subtraction works, what the Pattern Read and Witness Tracker do, and what the process does not claim. https://www.youtube.com/embed/j6VOMrfQhyo 2026-10-09T12:00:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/understand/responsible-for-everyones-emotions https://i.ytimg.com/vi/KJrNuNEp3_8/hqdefault.jpg Why Do I Feel Responsible for Everyone Else's Emotions? (It's Not Empathy) Feeling responsible for everyone's emotions can come from needing nobody to be upset, from needing to be needed, or from one person's approval. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJrNuNEp3_8 https://www.youtube.com/embed/KJrNuNEp3_8 223 2026-10-16T12:00:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/understand/why-do-i-sabotage-good-things https://i.ytimg.com/vi/_TmHCqWLgN0/hqdefault.jpg Why Do I Sabotage Good Things? Sabotaging good things often comes right after something goes well, and it may guard against losing it later or against owing for it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TmHCqWLgN0 https://www.youtube.com/embed/_TmHCqWLgN0 53 2026-10-16T12:00:00-07:00 yes https://i.ytimg.com/vi/4CbCmBVCTr8/hqdefault.jpg Why Do I Self-Sabotage When Things Are Going Well? Self-sabotage often shows up right after something goes well, not when things are hard. It may be guarding against losing the good thing later, or against owing for it. One question helps tell which: when you picture them leaving, is it because you weren't enough, or because you were too much? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CbCmBVCTr8 https://www.youtube.com/embed/4CbCmBVCTr8 140 2026-10-24T12:00:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/understand/always-planning-never-present https://i.ytimg.com/vi/5XEpqcRt1Fw/hqdefault.jpg Why Am I Always Planning and Never Present? Always planning and never being here may be a way of staying ahead of something going wrong, or of someone being upset. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XEpqcRt1Fw https://www.youtube.com/embed/5XEpqcRt1Fw 45 2026-10-16T12:00:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/understand/want-to-be-seen-but-hide https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ysPkO4t18Bw/hqdefault.jpg I Want to Be Seen, But I Hide. Why? Wanting to be seen and hiding anyway may mean that being noticed comes with owing, or that only one person's noticing would count. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysPkO4t18Bw https://www.youtube.com/embed/ysPkO4t18Bw 38 2026-10-16T12:00:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/understand/need-the-last-word https://i.ytimg.com/vi/hMBoOaaAvDk/hqdefault.jpg Why Do I Always Need the Last Word? Needing the last word may be about not letting a wrong version stand, or about not leaving the outcome of an argument open. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMBoOaaAvDk https://www.youtube.com/embed/hMBoOaaAvDk 30 2026-10-16T12:00:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/understand/repeating-same-relationship-patterns https://i.ytimg.com/vi/efDiZCIEIK4/hqdefault.jpg Why Do I Keep Dating the Same Type of Person? (Relationship Patterns) A pattern can have different reasons underneath it: needing to be picked, keeping the peace, feeling that needing anyone is unsafe, or needing to be right. Not every repeat is a rule. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efDiZCIEIK4 https://www.youtube.com/embed/efDiZCIEIK4 169 2026-10-23T15:33:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/couples/the-pursuer-and-the-withdrawer https://i.ytimg.com/vi/lizba_NhxYg/hqdefault.jpg Anxious-Avoidant Relationship Cycle: Why One Chases, One Pulls Away In the pursuer and withdrawer loop, one partner moves closer and the other moves away, and each move may be protecting something the other can't see. One question for each of you, and the ordinary explanation too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lizba_NhxYg https://www.youtube.com/embed/lizba_NhxYg 169 2026-10-24T07:05:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/help/what-is-breathwork-and-who-is-it-not-for https://i.ytimg.com/vi/KqUWsRll3lc/hqdefault.jpg Breathwork Dangers: Who Should NOT Do Breathwork Breathwork covers slow, calming styles and fast, intense ones, and the fast styles come with a published list of people advised to avoid them. Plus what credentials exist, and why there's no Arizona license. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqUWsRll3lc https://www.youtube.com/embed/KqUWsRll3lc 129 2026-10-24T07:10:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/help/what-is-internal-family-systems https://i.ytimg.com/vi/qbF0KopgW7Y/hqdefault.jpg What Is IFS Therapy? IFS Therapist vs IFS Coach Internal Family Systems is a model that works with parts of a person. IFS Level 1 training isn't certification, and there are two different certified titles. Here's how to tell them apart. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbF0KopgW7Y https://www.youtube.com/embed/qbF0KopgW7Y 157 2026-10-24T07:13:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/help/what-is-talk-therapy https://i.ytimg.com/vi/teWnkrYpAuE/hqdefault.jpg How to Check a Therapist's License in Arizona (What Is Talk Therapy?) Talk therapy in Arizona requires a state license, and you can look it up yourself in about a minute. Here are the two boards, the license types, and what to check. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teWnkrYpAuE https://www.youtube.com/embed/teWnkrYpAuE 108 2026-10-24T07:30:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/help/what-is-coaching https://i.ytimg.com/vi/9i80u-zfYi4/hqdefault.jpg Life Coach vs Therapist: Do Life Coaches Need a License? Life coaching isn't regulated by the state, there's no formal education requirement, and Arizona has no coaching license. Private credentials such as ICF's ACC, PCC and MCC do exist, and you can verify them. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9i80u-zfYi4 https://www.youtube.com/embed/9i80u-zfYi4 128 2026-10-24T07:15:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/help/what-is-somatic-therapy https://i.ytimg.com/vi/8KKC2KXdNXk/hqdefault.jpg What Is Somatic Therapy? Somatic Experiencing Explained Somatic therapy is a group of approaches that work with the body as well as with talk. Its best-known training, Somatic Experiencing, is a certificate, not a license, and its organization says it has no oversight of practitioners. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KKC2KXdNXk https://www.youtube.com/embed/8KKC2KXdNXk 121 2026-10-24T07:18:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/help/how-to-check-a-practitioner https://i.ytimg.com/vi/RBfcukzmKok/hqdefault.jpg How to Verify a Therapist or Healer Before You Book How to tell if a healer or practitioner is legit: confirm the certificate with whoever issued it, look up any state license, know what their work doesn't include, and notice how they answer. Many certifying organizations say in writing that they don't check their own members. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBfcukzmKok https://www.youtube.com/embed/RBfcukzmKok 137 2026-10-24T07:28:00-07:00 yes https://i.ytimg.com/vi/l4GlEwCvjb0/hqdefault.jpg Starting Over With a New Therapist? Check This First Many of the organizations that certify healers say, in writing, that they don't check the people they list. Three things you can check yourself: who certified them, their state license, and the date. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4GlEwCvjb0 https://www.youtube.com/embed/l4GlEwCvjb0 63 2026-10-30T12:33:05-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/help/what-is-emdr https://i.ytimg.com/vi/krD5nXHPzgU/hqdefault.jpg What Is EMDR Therapy? How to Find a Certified EMDR Therapist EMDR is a structured therapy best known for trauma, and its approved training is open only to licensed clinicians and people on a license track. Here's the difference between EMDR-trained and EMDRIA Certified, and how to check both. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krD5nXHPzgU https://www.youtube.com/embed/krD5nXHPzgU 151 2026-10-24T12:30:00-07:00 yes https://i.ytimg.com/vi/FqgeirvfopI/hqdefault.jpg EMDR Made It Worse? You're Not Broken A bio that says "EMDR" can mean two different things: someone who finished the basic training, or an EMDRIA-certified therapist. Both are real. They're not the same. Check their state license and which EMDR credential they mean. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqgeirvfopI https://www.youtube.com/embed/FqgeirvfopI 64 2026-10-29T12:34:05-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/help/what-is-hypnotherapy https://i.ytimg.com/vi/GUz1T2e3rDE/hqdefault.jpg What Is Hypnotherapy? Hypnotherapy Certification Explained Two people can both call themselves a hypnotherapist and have very different training. In Arizona, hypnotherapy has no state license of its own. Here's the difference between clinical hypnosis and certified hypnotists, and what to check. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUz1T2e3rDE https://www.youtube.com/embed/GUz1T2e3rDE 143 2026-10-24T14:00:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/help/what-is-energy-work https://i.ytimg.com/vi/pDdMx5P78KM/hqdefault.jpg What Is Reiki, and Is Reiki Real? Reiki is a hands-on or hands-near practice with no Arizona license. The National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health says it hasn't been clearly shown to be effective for any health-related purpose, and hasn't been shown to have harmful effects. The main caution is what it might replace. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDdMx5P78KM https://www.youtube.com/embed/pDdMx5P78KM 129 2026-10-24T15:30:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/help/how-to-know-if-its-the-wrong-fit https://i.ytimg.com/vi/CCA1Nv1jnAQ/hqdefault.jpg Signs of a Bad Therapist (or the Wrong Fit) A practitioner may be the wrong fit when you leave sessions more confused or frightened than you came, when you're pressured, or when weeks pass with nothing changing. Five signs worth taking seriously, the ordinary explanation too, and what you can do. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCA1Nv1jnAQ https://www.youtube.com/embed/CCA1Nv1jnAQ 139 2026-10-24T19:00:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/understand/cannot-relax-even-when-everything-is-fine https://i.ytimg.com/vi/vRqoVm7X2_8/hqdefault.jpg Why Can't I Relax, Even When Everything Is Fine? Nothing is wrong, and you still can't settle. Calm may be when you scan hardest: the people you love, the week, the stove. Three questions help tell what you may be waiting for: the next thing to do, someone's mood to turn, or something to go wrong. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRqoVm7X2_8 https://www.youtube.com/embed/vRqoVm7X2_8 152 2026-10-24T12:00:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/understand/why-do-i-need-everyone-to-like-me https://i.ytimg.com/vi/8HJGpzi2QxQ/hqdefault.jpg Why Do I Need Everyone to Like Me? Nine people were warm and one was cool, and the one is all you thought about on the way home. The effort to be liked may be protecting one of three things: a room where nobody is upset, being picked, or one particular person's verdict. Here's how to tell which. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HJGpzi2QxQ https://www.youtube.com/embed/8HJGpzi2QxQ 147 2026-10-24T12:00:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/understand/overthinking-after-every-conversation https://i.ytimg.com/vi/11izzGh7jwY/hqdefault.jpg Overthinking After Conversations: Why I Replay Them You left at ten, and by eleven you'd replayed one sentence nine times. Instead of asking how to stop, ask what the replay is looking for: the error, whether anyone is upset, or what one particular person saw. Three questions help tell which. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11izzGh7jwY https://www.youtube.com/embed/11izzGh7jwY 144 2026-10-24T12:00:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/understand/guilty-when-i-rest https://i.ytimg.com/vi/TKWhuvEh6m0/hqdefault.jpg Why Do I Feel Guilty When I Rest? Lazy people don't feel guilty resting. The guilt may show up because rest takes away the thing your sense of worth runs on. Four things it may be made of, and the one-day experiment that loosens it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKWhuvEh6m0 https://www.youtube.com/embed/TKWhuvEh6m0 151 2026-10-24T12:00:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/understand/why-do-i-explode-over-small-things https://i.ytimg.com/vi/iJAasSgyszU/hqdefault.jpg Why Do I Get So Angry Over Little Things? The shouting is the part everyone sees. What came before it may matter more: days of going along, keeping an even face, or not stopping. What the holding-in may be protecting, and what to write down after the next one. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJAasSgyszU https://www.youtube.com/embed/iJAasSgyszU 162 2026-10-24T12:00:00-07:00 yes https://withgina.com/understand/feel-like-a-burden https://i.ytimg.com/vi/thqcYdtI810/hqdefault.jpg Why Do I Feel Like a Burden? “Sorry to bother you” is how most of your requests begin. The feeling is real; whether it's accurate is a separate question. What it may be steering you away from, two questions that help tell which, and one thing to try this week. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thqcYdtI810 https://www.youtube.com/embed/thqcYdtI810 164 2026-10-24T12:00:00-07:00 yes